Monday, June 10, 2013

Oh Grandma

My grandpa recently got a Facebook. My grandma is always asking to use my moms Facebook to look at family pictures, and we kept trying to convince her to get a Facebook. After having no luck, we tried my grandpa, who quickly agreed. However, when he came over yesterday he told me she had been using it much more than he had, and had been on it for two hours the previous night. When I asked my grandma about this (this whole post has been leading up to this one line) she said:
"But I don't post, I just snoop. They call me snoop doggy dog."

I was on the floor laughing. First I thought she had said it wrong because I thought he was simply Snoop Dogg, but apparently his name actually is Snoop Doggy Dog. This made me laugh harder because my grandma had actually made a valid reference to pop culture. It was a first. After more Internet searching, I found that Snoop Doggy Dog is no longer a person, though. That's because he changed his name to Snoop Lion. I thought it couldn't get any more ridiculous than Snoop Doggy Dog but clearly I was wrong. Of course, since one thing on the Internet leads to another, I learned that 2 Chainz old rapper name was Tity Boi. Oh the wonderful world we live in. 

Thursday, May 30, 2013


So something I've recently noticed is that on an iphone, the word f*** is automatically changed to duck. It's super unhelpful when I'm angry and trying to curse someone off and all I can manage is:
"Duck you."
I keep trying to be all serious and angry but then autocorrect changes it and ruins everything. Honestly, sometimes I just want to shoot whoever came up with this.
Another autocorrect malfunction:
Friend: "Hey what's up?"
Me: "Nothing much just headed to Ohio for dinner with my family."
Friend: "Huh?"
Me: "*iHop*!!!!! Ducking autocorrect.
God dammit autocorrect. Can I ever win?

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

Keith Urban

So here's what happened the other day. I was brushing my hair while staring at my eyes in the mirror (sometimes they're blue but sometimes they're green and I like to check so I know because I'm ridiculous) when I remembered that myth that everyone always told me in elementary school about pupils changing size when you lie so naturally I looked in the mirror really closely and repeated: "My name is Shaniqua, my name is Keith Urban, my name is Shaniqua, my name is Keith Urban." Over and over and over again for a good 10 minutes or so. Also, just to clarify, my name isn't Shaniqua, I wish it was, but it's not. I just used that as a place holder for my real name, which I'm not telling you. So anyways as I said that I watched my eyes to see if my pupils changed size, and they didn't! Those tiny 8 year old filthy liars! Also, I totally just realized that I have no idea who Keith Urban is. It just happened to be the first name that popped into my mind at the time. I have no idea why, it just was. I think he's a country singer though. I mean Keith? Only farmers are named Keith. I mean, except this librarian I know. But I mean, besides him, the picture that the name Keith paints in your head is a guy with a cowboy hat, long shoulder length cowboy-like hair, and who milks cows or like rides bulls. I don't know but thats just what it sounds like to me. I'm not really a country girl....can you tell?


Well here we go. A blog. I decided I needed one in order to sort out the messed up shit in my head. I like the whole idea of my crazy thoughts I want to share being anonymous, that way, if I realize later what I write is ridiculous and makes no sense, well who cares! No one knows who I am anyway! Well, I surely hope so anyway. On this blog I can post things that I can look back on as an adult. 20 years from now when I'm a sophisticated adult I can look back on this and say things like, "Oh, what a troubled child I was. I am sooooo much more sophisticated now-a-days."Ha! Yea right. I'll always be crazy. So anyway I really hope I can keep this up. I try pretty hard to keep stuff up but I'm not very good at it. First I had a twitter, that didn't work AT ALL. I'll write about that story later. Then I tried a journal. That worked for a little bit, I got about 10 pages, which doesn't seem like a lot, but it is for me. Keeping a journal was hard because writing makes my hands cramp, which is really really annoying. So now I'm going to talk a little about myself, since I don't know how to make a description. Still figuring this thing out. So, I'm a teenager, living high school surrounded by sluts and douches. My school is full of some awful, annoying, bitchy, spoiled kids. There are some good people though, and they would be my group of friends. The majority of the rest of the people are over obsessed with their appearance and wear slutty clothes. It not the best group of people. But, despite that, I'd say I'm relatively normal. Anyway I'm a HUGE reader in the young adult fiction genre. I've read about everything, and all these movies and tv shows based off them are making me crazy excited. Did you see Beautiful Creatures? Amazing book. Divergent is a movie coming out next year, and The Selection and Delirium are two possible tv shows coming out in the future. It's quite exciting. I also love tv comedies like New Girl, Parks and Recreation, Raising Hope, 30 Rock (Now over, WAHHH), The Office, How I Met Your Mother, and other such shows. Food. Food is also pretty good. I'm basically your textbook version of a lazy person. TV, sugary foods, and reading. It's a pretty lazy lifestyle. But I'm not stupid, I have over a 4.0 average so I work on school too. So yea that pretty much shows my nerdy-ness. Hence the reading, schoolwork, and mathletes. So I'd say thats good for a first post. I'm done here. I'll tell a story about something actually entertaining later this week, or maybe later today, since I really don't have a lot of patience. Yea I think I'll start with later today.